Sea Change

Today my world underwent a transformation.  It started out like any ordinary day; the sun came up, the coffee brewed, the animals were fed and I made eggs for Mac and myself.  But then instead of going off in opposite directions to work, we drove together to a lawyer's office and signed the final settlement papers on our house. 

On the drive home afterward, the entire world looked different to me.  I felt as if I had undergone a complete change in outlook - this same feeling came over me on the day I brought each of my children home from the hospital after their births, also.  Somehow the whole world seemed different and new.

 I looked around at all the houses whizzing by the car windows and noticed how appealing they looked.  The paint colors seemed clean and bright, the yards looked inviting and the personal touchs, door garnishments and other adornments seemed sweet and whimsical, and it made me feel good inside just to see them.

I mentioned this sensation to Mac and asked if he noticed it as well.  He smiled and said no, nothing different about all the homes today - he had always noticed others' homes.  I thought about this and realized that I hadn't really liked to pay much attention to these things before, because it made me feel like a poor kid with her faced pressed up to a toy store window.  It was painful for me at some level to take in and appreciate what most others around me had, while I had no hope of having it myself. 

Over the years, I had seen Mac go into other people's homes and transform them into lovely, comfortable, stylish places with his handi-work.  While Mac had made our apartment and backyard at Catbird Heaven into a very nice place to live, it just wasn't the same because it was never ours, and we knew it never would be.

Years ago after Mac left the iron workers he had once constructed metal buildings with, he had worked for a residential home builder here in town, and with that crew he built a sprawling neighborhood from the ground up; a development consisting of cute, contemporary Capes and Ranch homes, frame to finish.  I could only watch year after year as he brought the dream of a home to life, for everyone it seemed, except us.  It felt sort of like attending a feast, but not being allowed to eat, or sitting on the beach on a hot day in front of a beautiful sea where there is no swimming allowed.

But that has all changed now.  Near sunset this evening we pulled up to the house...our house, with keys in hand.  As we walked around, planning and measuring, we were both struck by the amount of work that lies ahead.  The house needs so much cosmetic help, and a bit of structural help too, but we are up to the challenge.  As the last rays of the sun poured through the windows and the western sky ignited, we were overcome by awe...we had finally done it.  Mac let out an exclamation.  "What?" I asked, though I already knew the answer. 
"I can't believe I am actually standing in the kitchen of a house that I own." he said, shaking his head and laughing.
 "I know!" was all I could say, smiling from ear to ear. 
In the months to come I know our joy will be tempered by the realities of making it a home, and the even bigger reality of meeting all the financial obligations that come with it, but I have faith that we will be able to do it.  A lot of hard work lies ahead waiting for us, but it will be so worth it.

A Letter To Emma

Dear Emma,

Not too long ago on a warm sunny day, my husband and I were walking our little dog down your street, and as we passed your house, we saw you sitting in a plastic chair in the driveway.  You seemed like you were looking for someone and when you spotted us approaching, you sat up straighter, leaned forward and began to smile and wave.  We smiled and waved back, and I felt a very strange feeling come over me - a premonition as it turns out, now.  I remember feeling that perhaps you were giving us a sign, and on that day I wondered what it would be like if we lived in that house.

You see, we have walked by that house thousands of times over the past three decades.  We’ve lived just a short distance away for the past thirty one years.  We have been renting the second floor of a two family home all that time, because we could never afford a home of our own.  My husband is a self-employed carpenter and roofer, and I am an office worker.  We started our lives together with nothing but each other, because that seemed like enough.

Oh, we looked at a few houses back in the eighties.  But even the relatively small down-payments back then before the housing explosion seemed like such a lot of money for us; a very young couple just starting out without a nickel to spare.  Then came the children, and our oldest was born with a condition that required years of expensive, weekly medical appointments that were not covered by our poor health insurance.  Soon it was time to help the kids with their educations which we were happy to do, but it was drain on our finances, and we just couldn’t save anything up.

We have grown almost old together, and although we have worked hard all our lives, we despaired of ever being able to own a place of our own, until we saw that your house was for sale.  At first, I was only mildly interested when we saw the sign.  We didn’t have much cash to spare, and I thought the house would be snapped up before we could scrape something together.  But the weeks ticked by and when the sign stayed and the price dropped, we knew that we had to do something.  From that moment on, everything has fallen into place perfectly, with amazing synchronicity.

Right away, my husband will fix the roof, shore up the floor joists, replace the ceilings and woodwork, and put up new sheetrock on the walls.  We will paint each room.  Over the next few years, we will landscape and groom the yard.  We love birds and I am already designing a beautiful feeder system and flower garden to bring them in.  I grew up with a swimming pool at my childhood home and have always dreamed of having one, so eventually we will get yours up and running again, and when we do, I plan on swimming every single day each summer.  It will be like heaven to me.

By God's Grace we are finally realizing our dream.  We waited on Him and He did not forsake us.  Different people we spoke with were amazed that the home stayed on the market for so long.  I tell them that no one else bought it because it's our house, meant for only us.  I know that it has been predestined that we should live there, and I want you to know that we will cherish and care for that little house.  I want to thank you Emma, for helping us to finally make the dream of our lives come true.   After today we will be going home...at long last.